Back when Bandcloud started, Brad Rose and the Digitalis label were regular features. Rose was behind the FACT Mag tape column at the time, and in my early days of learning about the weird and wonderful world of outsider music I regularly pilfered from those monthly lists. Then in 2014, Rose all but disappeared off the web, the Digitalis label scrubbed from Bandcamp and their social media presence limited to an Instagram account sharing pictures of fancy beers. Rose still popped up in my emails in one form, however, as I followed their personal Bandcamp profile so I would get a digest of their purchases. Then in August of this year I noticed a new addition to their collection — something from Charlatan, the alias that first brought them into my world. They also had a Twitter account.

How are you and how has 2020 been for you, in as many or as few words as you’d like?

Cliche as it is, it's been one hell of a rollercoaster and a year in which I've learned a lot about myself and my capabilities. It's been unbelievably ugly at times, but little silver linings keep finding ways to creep in.

As I wrote in a mail earlier this year, I was just starting Bandcloud when I discovered the Digitalis label, and a few months later you seemed to shut up shop. You were almost entirely absent from music and social media for a number of years. Then this year you seemed to pop back up and you're more active than ever. What happened that brought you back?

I can certainly attribute some of it to the pandemic and the overwhelming pressure and heavy feelings it brought out. There was this moment where all the things that I'd been allowing to hold me back suddenly seemed completely insignificant as we were in sort-of-lockdown in the spring. Things ended abruptly at the end of 2014 because I'd reached a mental and physical breaking point. I was well beyond burnout and was deeply depressed and just... it wasn't great. At the time, my daughter was 1 1/2 and I knew I needed to make drastic changes in my life. It took years of therapy and self-reflection to deal with the depression, with the feelings of shame associated with the end of the label, and all that goes with that. Even after dealing with those, I still was riddled with impostor syndrome and I had a hard time getting past that. But again, this year — suddenly that felt like it didn't really matter and then, one night in late March, I turned on one of my synths and started playing four chords. And it felt really fucking good. Everything just went wild from there.

How have things changed, in your view? That question covers everything from the musical landscape to the dominant modes of distribution and consumption (if you'll excuse the word), as well as social media, a sad but sometimes hilarious necessity for most artists these days.

You know, I still feel incredibly out-of-the-loop with how things operate these days and I'm grateful for that. But, it seems like a lot of the issues that were prevalent in 2014 — constantly increasing costs, less space for 'small' artists and labels, and an increasingly homogenized arena of music coverage/criticism. There's also more great music and art being made right now than ever, so it's a fun dichotomy. Capitalism will continue to squeeze every last drop out anything that shows commercial promise and, as ever, the most vital, interesting stuff will be at the margins.

Have there been any positive changes?

So with all that being said I think there's an ever-growing awareness of how patently fucked up the entire system is and there, from my way outside perspective, seems to be more vocal support for artists being fairly compensated than there has been in a while.

What would you like to see more of in the music world?

Artists, writers, musicians, critics, etc being compensated and valued in a way that means they're not constantly having to hustle to survive. That's hardly a groundbreaking view, but I know how that grind can chew a person up.

You’ve managed to release a lot of music in a few months. What has your process been like?

In the spring, when the pandemic hit, my employer went above and beyond to make sure staff was safe — not just physically, but mentally as well. That translated into a lot of extra paid time off. I spent a lot of those days — especially when my daughter was with her grandparents — working on music. My process is the same as it ever was in some ways. It's either I have a very specific idea about something I want to do (A Glimpse At Nightfall is an example of this. I'd been spending a lot of time in our garden and finding a lot of solace in the sounds, so I wanted to combine that with some simple, sort of meditative music. And that's what I did) or I just have a lot of pent up stress or emotions I am trying to process so I will often just go in the studio (and when I say studio, I mean the corner of our spare bedroom where my gear is setup), turn some things on and see what happens. A lot of times its very meditative for me, or cathartic. From there, if there's any bits I like, I'll build on them and whatnot until something feels finished. I try to get in there almost every day and at least play something, but it comes in fits and starts. The past few weeks have been incredibly prolific, but before that nothing was happening for a month or so. I just try not to force anything.

You have a young child at home, does she ever listen to your music?

Oh yeah, she's heard a lot of it. I tend to test my mixes on the home stereo so she gets a taste that way. Lately she's been more interested in playing my synths and even recording. I told this story on twitter last week, but I went to work on a piece I'd started previously and thought it was still loaded on my computer because I hadn't done anything else since I recorded the first part. I hit play on it and was messing around on my synth, working out another part to the track and was so confused why it sounded off. I knew what key it was in, I knew I was playing in that same scale and still, something wasn't matching up. It was only after about 20 minutes I realized the recorded part was something my daughter had recorded and left open, not my track. It's legitimately good and I'm so shocked and proud. We'll see if she keeps at it. I played her part of this new piece I just finished a few days ago and she gave me this wide-eyed, almost surprised look and told me "Wow, this is good daddy!" That was pretty great.

I’ve seen your tweets about the way that COVID has been handled in your area, I can only imagine the frustration. How have you kept sane?

Music has been the biggest thing, honestly. If I hadn't gotten back into making music like this in March, I don't know where I'd be right now. The added bonus has been reconnecting with a lot of old friends and collaborators. That's been amazing. I talked previously about impostor syndrome, but having a number of people I greatly admire and respect show genuine excitement that I'd come back from my sojourn. It's meant so much. And doubly great is been reconnecting on deeper levels with some people — a special mention for Matt Lajoie. Add into that 'meeting' new people and finding great commonality in interests and ideas (a shoutout to qualchan especially!) — it's been fucking fantastic.

Has any music in particular stood out to you this year?

My god there's been so much. I have been deeper into tunes this year than I have in a long while and just feel overwhelmed and overjoyed at the amount of incredible, thought-provoking, beautiful, difficult work has come out. There's a ton, but a few things that really stood out...

Moor Mother/Camae Ayewa has been a constant companion to my 2020 in many ways. Not just all the incredible, boundary-pushing music she's released, but I also got a couple of her books as well that have opened my mind further. And just to put an exclamation point on this, her collaborative album with billy woods that came out of nowhere on Friday? Unreal. I can't say enough about how much I've been challenged by and how deeply I've loved the work she's released this year.

Tangentially related, International Anthem has been my favorite label. It's just gem after gem after gem. The Irreversible Entanglements album — when your project involves Camae Ayewa, Luke Stewart, Tcheser Holmes, and Aquiles Navarro and still blows away any massive expectations? Amazing. But there's so much more great stuff beyond that... the Jeff Parker album, the recent Dezron Douglas and Brandee Younger duet, the live Angel Bat Dawid. Goodness. Talk about music that will enrich your life.

Oh, and I hadn't bought a record in five years (seriously) until earlier this year when I bought Claire Rousay's record on Whited Sepulchre. It's a great record — one of many incredible things she's put out this year — but her work gets me in such a visceral way that I often have to prepare myself mentally to listen. A lot of tears shed listening to some of the pieces she put out this year. She's amazing.

One final shout for Flowerroom Records and Matt Lajoie. I've known Matt for going on 15 years, but we'd lost touch since maybe 2012? Anyway, we reconnected in a really deep, personal way this year that has been one of the highlights of my year. I love his label with his partner, Ash Brooks, and all they're doing. It's a collection of incredibly beautiful, positive music that has made my world a better place and inspired me — especially his solo record, "Everlasting Spring."

For a while you were tweeting about listening to Laraaji and then Alice Coltrane every morning, who’s helping you these days?

Alice and Laraaji both continue to be beacons of light in this dark world. I can't overstate what a treasure Laraaji is to us right now. Outside of those two, Steve Roach's livestreams have been a real salve too. Matthew Sage's cached.media streams have been wonderful. That Dezron Douglas and Brandee Younger album too — I've probably listened to that more mornings since it came out than anything else. There's just so much amazing stuff happening right now...

Brad Rose on Twitter